Thursday, January 20, 2011

BDSM Basics

WHAT IS BDSM ?
- The term is an acronym. It stands for Bondage & Discipine, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism.
- BDSM are activities that evolve around the mentioned terms.
- Examples: It can range from basic things to spice up the intimacy, such as spankings, to more "advanced" ones such as whips and even to living the BDSM lifestyle. Which one you choose is entirely up to you and your partner, no right or wrong.

BASIC TERMS:
- Top: a partner who takes the giving part in a situation / play.
- Dom (Domme for female): a partner who takes the dominant part in a relationship / lifestyle.
- Master/Mistress: usually reserved title for our dominant partner.
- Bottom: a partner who takes the receiving part in a situation / play.
- Sub/slave: a partner who takes the submissive part in a relationship / lifestyle.

ARE THEY ANY RULES? Oh yes, of course.
- SSC: meaning Safe, Sane, Consensual. Activities have to be considered safe and sane by both, the consensual part is the most important.
- LIMITS  - have to be respected at all times.
- -  Soft limits: things we won't do, but if the time/place/partner is right, we could try.
- - Hard limits: things we don't do. Period. Not now, not in 100 years.
- SAFEWORDS: pre-agreed words/signs used when things go wrong and the play needs to be stopped. Anyone can call them at any time. Absolutely to be respected, otherwise things can go wrong very badly. Examples: feeling dizzy, the spankings are too hard, you remembered the owen is on ...
- AFTERCARE: Activities to do after a play sceene to "get back to normal". Have cold water handy, make the partner comfy, rub their limbs, etc. Aftercare is applied for both, not just the receiving partner, because it takes mental/physical toll on the giving/dominant partner also.
- ETIQUETTE: Rules employed by specific groups. Learn them if you want to be in their presence, respect them and don't tell them the rules are stupid. You can choose not to be there.
- "THE TAKEN RULE": If you see someone has a partner, stay away. Would you want your partner to be harrased all the time ? See?

ANYTHING ELSE? Yup – tips to start:
- If you already have a partner: Start by having your eyes tied with a silk scarf while making love, tie his hands behind his/her back softly, ask them to not move at all while pleasuring them, etc.
- If you don't have a partner: Now that you discovered this wonderfull world  - DO NOT RUSH. Find a suitable partner. Yes, they exist. If you rush, you won't get what you seek for, because the partner won't fit. Take your time, get to know them.

Good luck and many happy moments.

Your
D/s Learning Hall Staff


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